Wings Writing

 In Te Ngahere we have been learning to identify what we have done well in our writing like language features such as emotive language and vivid adjectives. We also tried to use some mood and atmosphere in our writing. First we watched a video and we had to pick a scene to write about it. The video was about a boy and some big black creatures and him wanting to fly again. I decided to right about a scene when he was going to launch himself into the air and fly. We did this to try and make our writing better every time we do this.

Have you ever done writing like this?

Here is my writing:

The sky was a hideous light orange colour when the boy made a brand new wing made of brown leather then he struggled to push his catapult out of his workshop but successfully did it and took a look at it, he was very proud of his invention. He sits on it nervously hoping that it will not malfunction.  Then he pulls the lever and WOOSH he goes flying  he then starts flying freely and happily he was so thrilled that he could fly again. until something disturbs him, his wing starts to wobble and come undone and then unfortunately he falls to the ground scared and frightened. 

He wakes up unconscious only to see big black monstrous creatures with big long pale fingers picking the boy up and putting him back on the ground. The black monsters turn around and see a girl playing a flute. The girl flies away. While the black monsters chase after her only to slash off her left wing leaving her on the ground helpless and sad.